The Sunday Papers "Brainy edition"

national | history and heritage | opinion/analysis Sunday June 04, 2006 20:19 by iosaf mac diarmada

It has been long observed that people for some reason on their non-banking days readily absorb shite about Dangerous Places, Famous People, Sensible Saving Options, Holidays, Interesting facts, Sport results, Media, gardening and health as well looking ahead at “democratic evolution” and looking back at "how history was made".

Very special & very short edition this one, if you're reading this in Ireland or are one of the Irish Diasporia -

Congratulations!

You are now one of the Establishment, in the period from the 23rd of May to the 2nd of June all the Irish people joined ranks & played their part to be the Regime. We are all Brainy. I am thus giving you all tips today - so you can go on being "Brainy".

Today is the 4th of the 6th month 2006 common era. In the Christian tradition its Pentacost day when the 12 apostles got really brainy and polyglot - we mark this wonder by sending our kids to be slapped in the face by the local bishop, confirmed in the faith and then on a round of the neighbours and relations to collect money.

* Being Brainy requires exercising your Brain. Try sudoko you'll find these puzzles in your newspapers!
or if you don't like newspapers there's a site here :-
http://www.websudoku.com/

* Try crosswords! Start with the easy clues, use a dictionary and then work your way up to the cryptic.
http://www.crossword-puzzles.co.uk/

here's another great site of puzzles designed to help people with mushy brains -
http://www.aarp.org/fun/puzzles/

* Learn a language, Borges quite famously learnt Japanese at 90 years of age, he was very brainy, won a Nobel prize & never really got out enough.

* Read. Reading is great. It also helps your neural nets and synapsis if you read "out loud". Don't worry about the neighbours, turn the TV up really loud and they won't hear you.

* Don't take choline based smart drugs. These are illegal.

* wear a big hat & give people the impression your head is huge - It worked for Imanuel Kant.

* use big words. keep a collection of big words and stick them to your fridge. try finding out how they're pronounced as well, so you don't go mispronouncing them like Michael Mc dowell did with "predation".

* avoid jargon words like "predation".

* go to "brainy sites"
http://www.brainyhistory.com/
http://www.brainyhistory.com/

* Have a kid & make it brainier than you are.
http://www.brainy-child.com/

* keep a record of what happened before you joined forces & closed ranks with the Irish establishment & Irish regime ( I called it the "endgame puzzle" )
http://www.indymedia.ie/article/71025#comment150338