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Voltaire Network
Voltaire, international edition

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How the Cardinals voted and "not - voted" today for the Black Pope.

category international | politics / elections | other press author Monday April 18, 2005 22:03author by LOL Report this post to the editors

In case you've missed it, 115 men are voting for the black pope at the moment in rome who will lead 1,200,000,000 catholics, of which over 500,000,000 are eligible to be pope, into what they call the XXI century.

your participation is requested.

please burn your rubbish and ring your neighbours doorbells at the appointed time "habemus papa!" is the appropriate and indeed ritual expression.

according to state of the art communication systems,
the world's media can confirm that there have no decisive results as of 18h05 GMT, that's a bit later local time.

However as soon as the horsetrading can be got through, by tea time tomorrow, it is hoped a last minuted deal will break the impasse, shatter and mould, and creatively bring things forward in a new and refreshing way, that means your, yes *your* particapation.

As soon as the 115 auld fellah's have had enough of being banged up the vatican and looking at pictures by michelangelo of scantily clad women and men trying to touch up the creator and have communed sufficiently with the Holy Spirit and done what Joseph "I swore an oath to the fuhrer to fight commies" Ratzinger told them, the bells will chime and they'll be sending white smoke up into the air.

They're very clear about this. They fucked it up in 1978 when the election of JP1 saw grey smoke emerge, and sure look what happened to him...

THE BELLS ON YOUR MOBILE WILL CHIME!

please set your alert tones accordingly.
goto the "user settings" of your mobile,
select "chime 1" please note that using the vibrator alert on your mobile could be a bit irreverent.
(especially if you're a woman)

We (the permanent assembly of @rists, intellectuals, activists, and part-time theologians) will send you a message as soon as this stunning example of democratic participation has ended.

 #   Title   Author   Date 
   Some confusion there on the smoke -     )-:    Mon Apr 18, 2005 22:49 
   despite all attempts by the Ratzinger group to finish the "coup" this morning     -    Tue Apr 19, 2005 12:54 
   despite all attempts by the Ratzinger group to finish the "coup" at noon...     -    Tue Apr 19, 2005 14:00 
   Pope     John    Tue Apr 19, 2005 17:05 
   Eat Your Words...     annon    Tue Apr 19, 2005 17:14 
   White Smoke     Dope    Tue Apr 19, 2005 18:16 
   re: John     ZXB    Tue Apr 19, 2005 22:51 
   Notional Socialists     Noel    Wed Apr 20, 2005 12:25 
   Sorry Noel but..     Sparky    Wed Apr 20, 2005 12:42 
 10   fascist election     Con Carroll    Wed Apr 20, 2005 17:02 


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