reminder.

international | eu | opinion/analysis Monday June 21, 2004 17:16 by the merrovingñanvanjan

f.a.o. Bartholomew Patrick Ahern

an Taoiseach, the Prime Minister of Ireland, the Premier of Eire, the leader of Fianna Fail, the the current President of the European Union, knight honorary of the Order of Constantine and St. George, Deputy for Dublin Central to Dail Eirinn.
"Bertie!"

You categorically told your post-election shock party that you would not be going to Brussels.

you also took all advice and wore the mismatching suit and trousers to Sea Island.

You did this, Bertie, so as not to satisfy the conditions for the job. You weren't banged up on psidrugs, like Tony, so cast your mind back, you did your best "not to get the job".

"Not getting the job", means-

You don't go to Brussells.
You don't become EU comissioner rascal in chief.
You don't become a UN high comissioner.
You don't become secretary general of NATO.

Now we've gone through all this before.
OH remember the days, when we went easy on you, coz it was your first mega-important job, and we took you through the pitfalls and pointed out the limitations you suffer on account of not being able to speak, read or write French.

Make it simple.
"Bertie you don't have any French".

You don't go to Brussells.
You don't become EU comissioner rascal in chief.
You don't become a UN high comissioner.
You don't become secretary general of NATO.

because you don't have any French.
You would very quickly be converted in a
"petit anglais" Bertie, and with that Order of Constantine and st George, still fresh on your list of honorary gongs, you'll find that your kind of english may complicate the long and interesting development of the Irish nation.

Why can't you be just happy to hang up your laurels now, forget about the disaster of the EU elections, bask in the glory of getting the Constitution (which those lovely merrovigninvanjans wrote) into the statues book. - ooooo, bertie it isn't on the statute books yet, hmmm, you'll need to learn French.

The problem with you Bertie, is you've forgotten all the lovely moments when your little helpers the merrovingñnvanjans caught you by the scruff of the neck and kept your teflon coating up to scratchless.

Like Cyprus. You didn't have a clue there did you?
Or Macedonia and Balkan expansion, that had you sweating didn't it?

So, have a think about where your career might best be pursued. You are indeed a valued member of the team, but you aren't the star, Bertie. Calm down.

Remember the game plan.

You are going into opposition in 2005.
A very respectably opposition. And the PDs will be finally be killed off, and someone who doesn't speak English as their first language and knows that Boston is as far from Utah as Galway is to Riga will get the _very important_ jobs for an bodach mór which are

*Secretary General of NATO/OTAN
*Comissioner after Prodi.
*High Comissioner for anything at all UN.

I hate people who don't know when the sloppy hig hug is over. You've till the end of the month, when you told your party that you weren't going to Brussells you mumbled something about little details which carry you up to mid July on EU presidential business.
Then August is your holliers.
And September is your _*"reshuffle"*_

¿are you on program or Qué?