Hell hath no fury like a Kevin scorned

national | arts and media | opinion/analysis Wednesday April 21, 2004 12:09 by Brian O'Nolan

Kevin’s conversion - why has Kevin Myers done a flip-flop on George Bush?

He has turned on his intellectual mentor and now thinks him a political madman (on the basis that it takes one to know one?).

Why has this happened? What is the source of this conversion of Uncle Sam’s best friend into his foe?

I can EXCLUSIVELY REVEAL it is because Kevin felt unappreciated. We can trace this back to his column on October 18th 2001 (ahem, I have done my research).

…………………………………………….An Irishman's Diary By KEVIN MYERS
I received an invitation recently from the US Embassy to a reception for its new public affairs officer. It is the first communication of any kind I have received from that source since September 11th, when I began to write a series of columns in support of the US.

That support remains unchanged ….. The US now needs to know who its true friends are. Me. I'm one.

So when many Irish commentators were trying to "contextualise" the WTC and Pentagon attacks, I was one of just three who came down unequivocally on the US side. From the US-haters, I have been rewarded with vilification, abuse and even some idle death threats. But from the US embassy, as with the two other declared friends of the US, I have heard nothing whatever.
Senior diplomats

Moreover, as a journalist, I was recently introduced to two very senior American diplomats at non-US embassy social occasions. Neither had the least idea who I was, or that this column had unequivocally backed the US. One of them chose to address me as "Myles", on the grounds, I suppose, that that was close enough; and is close enough not good enough, when you represent the US in a country the size of Maine? So, no, I will not be going to the reception to welcome the new public affairs officer, in order to stand around being called Myles and being asked by US diplomats what precisely I do in The Irish Times.

This sounds like vanity. ….

Do US diplomats in Ireland feel that because they represent the world superpower in tadpoleland they don't really need to understand the local media and local mores of the local tadpoles? If so, it might explain why Richard Egan, the US Ambassador, attended the Sinn Féin ard-fheis, even as his government's worldwide war against terrorism was under way.

…………………………………………………………………………….[And so on]

A reader felt moved to write the following on the letters page (more research)

United States Diplomacy
Sir, - Kevin Myers is concerned that US diplomats are so unappreciative, after all his efforts on their behalf, that they cannot even get his name right (An Irishman's Diary, October 18th). They called him "Myles". Kevin Myers has indeed been assiduous in promoting US interests, taking on guest columnists such as John Pilger and the occasional unfortunate reader with a different point of view. He has also woven into his post-September 11th tapestry of world bogeymen his domestic gallery of Sinn Féin villains.
As well as being unable to pronounce his name correctly, US diplomacy performed another "no-no" - the Ambassador attended the Sinn Fein Árd-Fheis. Kevin Myers's support is obviously conditional, to be granted only on the basis of accepting the whole Myers counter-insurgency package. There are two possible explanations for US diplomacy's grievous faux pas.
The first is that the diplomats were too well briefed and had in fact conducted an extensive historical study of The Irish Times. Having read Mr Myers's copy they would be forgiven for believing his heavy-handed sarcasm to be a form of satire (satirising pompous journalists who go in for heavy-handed sarcasm). They then confused Kevin Myers with Flann O'Brien's nom de plume, Myles na Gopaleen. This was an inadvertent compliment that Kevin Myers would do well to disabuse his US friends of by proclaiming the complete sincerity of his intentions. This may be unnecessary as the October 18th column does the job admirably.
To sum up, countries do not have friends, they have interests and Kevin Myers is of no interest to the US. He will have to continue ploughing his lonely furrow in, as he so eloquently, if a little forlornly, puts it, "a country the size of Maine".
I hope that clarifies matters.

………………………………………………………………………….Yes indeedee