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Anti-Empire

Anti-Empire

offsite link North Korea Increases Aid to Russia, Mos... Tue Nov 19, 2024 12:29 | Marko Marjanovi?

offsite link Trump Assembles a War Cabinet Sat Nov 16, 2024 10:29 | Marko Marjanovi?

offsite link Slavgrinder Ramps Up Into Overdrive Tue Nov 12, 2024 10:29 | Marko Marjanovi?

offsite link ?Existential? Culling to Continue on Com... Mon Nov 11, 2024 10:28 | Marko Marjanovi?

offsite link US to Deploy Military Contractors to Ukr... Sun Nov 10, 2024 02:37 | Field Empty

Anti-Empire >>

The Saker

Indymedia ireland

Indymedia Ireland is a volunteer-run non-commercial open publishing website for local and international news, opinion & analysis, press releases and events. Its main objective is to enable the public to participate in reporting and analysis of the news and other important events and aspects of our daily lives and thereby give a voice to people.

offsite link Fraud and mismanagement at University College Cork Thu Aug 28, 2025 18:30 | Calli Morganite
UCC has paid huge sums to a criminal professor
This story is not for republication. I bear responsibility for the things I write. I have read the guidelines and understand that I must not write anything untrue, and I won't.
This is a public interest story about a complete failure of governance and management at UCC.

offsite link Deliberate Design Flaw In ChatGPT-5 Sun Aug 17, 2025 08:04 | Mind Agent
Socratic Dialog Between ChatGPT-5 and Mind Agent Reveals Fatal and Deliberate 'Design by Construction' Flaw
This design flaw in ChatGPT-5's default epistemic mode subverts what the much touted ChatGPT-5 can do... so long as the flaw is not tickled, any usage should be fine---The epistemological question is: how would anyone in the public, includes you reading this (since no one is all knowing), in an unfamiliar domain know whether or not the flaw has been tickled when seeking information or understanding of a domain without prior knowledge of that domain???!

This analysis is a pretty unique and significant contribution to the space of empirical evaluation of LLMs that exist in AI public world... at least thus far, as far as I am aware! For what it's worth--as if anyone in the ChatGPT universe cares as they pile up on using the "PhD level scholar in your pocket".

According to GPT-5, and according to my tests, this flaw exists in all LLMs... What is revealing is the deduction GPT-5 made: Why ?design choice? starts looking like ?deliberate flaw?.

People are paying $200 a month to not just ChatGPT, but all major LLMs have similar Pro pricing! I bet they, like the normal user of free ChatGPT, stay in LLM's default mode where the flaw manifests itself. As it did in this evaluation.

offsite link AI Reach: Gemini Reasoning Question of God Sat Aug 02, 2025 20:00 | Mind Agent
Evaluating Semantic Reasoning Capability of AI Chatbot on Ontologically Deep Abstract (bias neutral) Thought
I have been evaluating AI Chatbot agents for their epistemic limits over the past two months, and have tested all major AI Agents, ChatGPT, Grok, Claude, Perplexity, and DeepSeek, for their epistemic limits and their negative impact as information gate-keepers.... Today I decided to test for how AI could be the boon for humanity in other positive areas, such as in completely abstract realms, such as metaphysical thought. Meaning, I wanted to test the LLMs for Positives beyond what most researchers benchmark these for, or have expressed in the approx. 2500 Turing tests in Humanity?s Last Exam.. And I chose as my first candidate, Google DeepMind's Gemini as I had not evaluated it before on anything.

offsite link Israeli Human Rights Group B'Tselem finally Admits It is Genocide releasing Our Genocide report Fri Aug 01, 2025 23:54 | 1 of indy
We have all known it for over 2 years that it is a genocide in Gaza
Israeli human rights group B'Tselem has finally admitted what everyone else outside Israel has known for two years is that the Israeli state is carrying out a genocide in Gaza

Western governments like the USA are complicit in it as they have been supplying the huge bombs and missiles used by Israel and dropped on innocent civilians in Gaza. One phone call from the USA regime could have ended it at any point. However many other countries are complicity with their tacit approval and neighboring Arab countries have been pretty spinless too in their support

With the release of this report titled: Our Genocide -there is a good chance this will make it okay for more people within Israel itself to speak out and do something about it despite the fact that many there are actually in support of the Gaza

offsite link China?s CITY WIDE CASH SEIZURES Begin ? ATMs Frozen, Digital Yuan FORCED Overnight Wed Jul 30, 2025 21:40 | 1 of indy
This story is unverified but it is very instructive of what will happen when cash is removed
THIS STORY IS UNVERIFIED BUT PLEASE WATCH THE VIDEO OR READ THE TRANSCRIPT AS IT GIVES AN VERY GOOD IDEA OF WHAT A CASHLESS SOCIETY WILL LOOK LIKE. And it ain't pretty

A single video report has come out of China claiming China's biggest cities are now cashless, not by choice, but by force. The report goes on to claim ATMs have gone dark, vaults are being emptied. And overnight (July 20 into 21), the digital yuan is the only currency allowed.

The Saker >>

Lockdown Skeptics

The Daily Sceptic

offsite link Does Trump Not Realise How Globally Toxic Tony Blair Is? Mon Oct 06, 2025 19:30 | Ramesh Thakur
Trump's peace plan for Gaza might yet succeed, but why on earth does Tony Blair feature, asks Professor Ramesh Thakur. Does Trump not realise how globally toxic the Blair brand is?
The post Does Trump Not Realise How Globally Toxic Tony Blair Is? appeared first on The Daily Sceptic.

offsite link Stupidologiology Mon Oct 06, 2025 18:15 | James Alexander
William Davies has written an article titled 'Stupidology' which Prof James Alexander summarises as: 'Trump is stupid. Brexit was stupid. I am not stupid. Neither are my friends. Why do stupid people have power?'
The post Stupidologiology appeared first on The Daily Sceptic.

offsite link Backlash as Nando?s Limits Customers to One Coke per Visit Under New ?Nanny State? Rules Mon Oct 06, 2025 15:11 | Will Jones
Nando's has sparked a backlash after restricting customers to a single glass of Coca-Cola Classic under new 'nanny state' Government rules aimed at cutting sugar consumption.
The post Backlash as Nando’s Limits Customers to One Coke per Visit Under New ‘Nanny State’ Rules appeared first on The Daily Sceptic.

offsite link ?Nudge? Has a New Evil Twin: ?Stochastic Terror? Mon Oct 06, 2025 13:30 | Nick Rendell
'Nudge' has a new evil twin, says Nick Rendell: 'stochastic terror'. When all else fails, the Left foments the conditions for random political violence and then sits back and waits for someone to pick off Trump or Farage.
The post ‘Nudge’ Has a New Evil Twin: ‘Stochastic Terror’ appeared first on The Daily Sceptic.

offsite link Green Party Votes to Abolish Landlords Mon Oct 06, 2025 11:17 | Will Jones
The?Green Party?has committed itself to "abolishing landlords" after party members at its conference in Bournemouth passed a motion to seek the "effective abolition of private landlordism".
The post Green Party Votes to Abolish Landlords appeared first on The Daily Sceptic.

Lockdown Skeptics >>

Voltaire Network
Voltaire, international edition

offsite link Will intergovernmental institutions withstand the end of the "American Empire"?,... Sat Apr 05, 2025 07:15 | en

offsite link Voltaire, International Newsletter N?127 Sat Apr 05, 2025 06:38 | en

offsite link Disintegration of Western democracy begins in France Sat Apr 05, 2025 06:00 | en

offsite link Voltaire, International Newsletter N?126 Fri Mar 28, 2025 11:39 | en

offsite link The International Conference on Combating Anti-Semitism by Amichai Chikli and Na... Fri Mar 28, 2025 11:31 | en

Voltaire Network >>

Living with Depression

category cork | health / disability issues | opinion/analysis author Saturday March 05, 2016 11:22author by Graham - Rebel City Writers Report this post to the editors

A personal account on living with the “common cold” of mental illnesses

A personal account on living with the “common cold” of mental illnesses.


The first thing I’ll say is Yes, this is looking for attention. Get over it.

Depression is considered to be the “common cold” of mental illness in terms of how common it is. Yet, because of the huge stigma around it, it’s still a hidden illness. When someone asks you how you are, you’re not going to say “bad enough to be fair, have depression, what about yourself?” It can’t be that blasé to be fair as it’s very serious but it shouldn’t be the other extreme either where a person can’t open up about their most intimate feelings to people they love like close friends or family. People can’t just “get over it” either, it’s like telling someone with a broken leg “get over it and go for a walk”, it’s not that easy and all that approach achieves is people feeling like they’re failing at not recovering, hurtng their confidence. Nobody who has ever just “gotten over it” has ever really had depression as it’s just not possible.

Like, for people who doubt the power of the stigma around mental illness, I can guarantee anybody who reads this will at some point think I’m just looking for attention or exaggerating things. Well, I can’t give a response to that other than to say if I’m considered to be exaggerating then I’d hate to see anybody you consider to have an “acceptable” level of mental ill-health that they can be open about it and not be judged. Besides the fact the constant judgement is part of the problem. If someone is helped by putting up their dreary life-story on Facebook, so they can get sympathy, then so what? Maybe things are that bad that’s the level of desperation they’re at. Maybe they wouldn’t have to cry out for attention publicly if they didn’t live in a culture where that’s the only way they can be listened to. Even if it’s only a “Did you see that eejit’s thing there last night on being depressed?” in the yard at school or in the workplace, that’s far better to the person concerned that at least people know, it’s out there.

On to my own thing anyway. I’m not giving my life story as it’s not important but all I can say is I don’t really know where it came from. If I did I could sort it but I still don’t know. I first started feeling the early signs of it when I was about 12 I suppose. Having very little confidence in myself, being afraid of every and any social situation, not being able to do basic things people my age were doing, like be involved in sport for a fair period and not dropping out after only awhile. I felt “sad”, that was it, I didn’t understand it, it wasn’t always there but something wasn’t right. Then into my early teens things became more mixed, I was better overall but there would be short-term periods when things would skydive. I just put it down to being a teenager and everyone was going through it, I was nothing special there. But as things went on, as I went into my mid-late teens, things were getting worse. I’d always be saying something wrong or making the wrong decision, nothing was going my way and I was aware there was something not right again. I’d slip in things, like I was always feeling I did wrong in something, in school or with friends it was like I felt incapable of getting the positive side of things and it always felt like it was my own doing. Things didn’t go so well at that time either outside my control, maybe it was my fault I don’t know, but things around me were pushing me down and down.

I started calling myself “depressed” around this time, age 15/16. I didn’t really know what it meant to be honest, there was a feeling that I wanted to just give this thing I’d felt since 12 a label, even if it wasn’t accurate. I know now it wasn’t depression as such, more the beginning of it. I came open about it to my mam and dad and got seen for it, and was told it was anxiety. I had a lot of typical teenager feelings, for typical things, but for me, because of that anxiety, it meant it meant more for me than other people, like it was more permanent rather than just a temporary thing, with more of a lasting impact. I didn’t get proper sessions with the “professionals” to be fair, my age was awkward and services for people at that age weren’t so good from my experience. Around my late-teens then, things went worse. I knew this wasn’t just anxiety but that “black dog” in the background was forcing its way in. My confidence collapsed, my mood was vicious, I hated everyone and was always right, everyone is against me and I’d get them eventually. Everything was negative. I took no pleasure in things I used to; reading was boring, playing x-box was boring, going out, which was becoming rarer and rarer, was boring. There was nothing upward about my future. I put it down to the Leaving Cert coming up, it was an obvious load of pressure and I just needed to make it through the next year or so and I’d be grand. I’d finish it and get a job, get every new game and film, get involved in helping people more, maybe meet a girl, get things sorted and I’d be starting college and everything would be a breeze, just if I got through this bad patch. Unfortunately, it wasn’t like that.

I felt that, going into 6th Year things got worse for definite. I’d gotten involved in new things and was diversifying what I did, but I was still feeling worse and worse. I’d be taking days off school because I hadn’t the energy to go in, I’d take the approach of “it’ll be grand, just leave it off”, to everything; my diabetes, my schoolwork/Leaving Cert, responsibilities. Nothing got done and I didn’t care. I eventually went for more counselling but it didn’t do much good. I got put on meds eventually by my GP after we all felt all other avenues had been pursued, I needed a boost. I thought things were going to be fine then. I was on meds and so was officially depressed, it had a name, and therefore a solution, an identity to it. It didn’t last more than a few weeks until things slipped and even taking the meds became a duty I couldn’t manage, or care about. There’s few worse feelings than being on medication and going off it. I’d sleep until 5 or 6 in the day and do nothing, had a constant tiredness, short-temper and a hopeless attitude, I felt physically unwell. Taking the meds erratically did nothing but alleviate these, it didn’t remove the core problem. It was all just a circle of problems – depressed cause I wasn’t taking my meds, not taking my meds cause I hadn’t the energy.

Eventually, after a year of straight hell, I made it through Leaving Cert, got old enough to drink and was about to start college. Well, It’s almost a year later after this point now and things haven’t improved. On the surface I’ve more to draw on but inside little has changed. I’ve accomplished so much in that time but that means little if you’ve no bearing on it. I’ve helped people, like I’ve always tried to do, but it still means nothing. I think “fuck them all”, lash out the odd time, take the wrong approach, but still that does nothing either. It’s like I’m miserable anyway so what difference does it make what I do, good or bad? I’ve passion for things that I never had before, but even then it reaches a limit. I feel I’ve so much potential and things I can achieve, but I just can’t get there due to not having the confidence. I’ve pulled out of so many things and disappointed so many people by avoiding responsibilities but it’s like I’m down but not out. Like have you ever seen in films a boxer getting mangled but still getting up, knowing he’s going to get hit again and again and probably lose anyway but he still does it. That’s how I feel.

It’s tough doing even menial things, things I should look forward to are more of an obstacle or a challenge. I couldn’t even keep up going to my therapy sessions, it was too much energy. Now if I can’t do that and that’s meant to be helping me, imagine my record in facing social situations, college, and all that where I’ve to make a huge effort to just get through it. I try and do it anyway, I try to enjoy things when it should be happening naturally but I’m not that lucky. I have to achieve enjoying something, have to put a load of effort into it. It’s hard and fails most of the time. Like leaving a place early for fear I wont enjoy it. Sometimes it succeeds and it’s a small victory, very small. I dunno, I think I’ve no option but to try anyway and eventually I’ll get more strength and things wont become a chore. I’ll be happy more and because I put effort into it, it’ll have a meaning. I wont be there for, to be realistic, a few years I think but I don’t have a choice. The s-word isn’t and wont ever be an option. It’s there every day, the thought of it, but it can’t be entertained. I’m fighting because I’ve far too many counting on me, my parents, my brothers and my sister, my aunts, uncles, cousins and people I know are my friends; the people I’ve tried to help and will help, not just myself.

I’ve rambled here a bit I think, but trying to put this into words isn’t easy, you can’t leave some things out or people wont get what you’re saying properly. I know now some people might think, like I would, that I’m just looking for attention. Well yes, I am, unashamedly. If I get more people to properly understand where I’m coming from maybe things might get easier. I don’t know how this will be recieved, people might ignore it or it might be read by a lot of people I know. I’d prefer the latter obviously, if getting likes on Facebook is my only way to raise my confidence then I’ll do it. As I said, it’s the small victories for the moment. If it means people will read it and feel better about themselves then even better. I’ve seen people with depression and noticed it instantly, I know the tell-tale signs. The worst is when I see it and know for a fact these people don’t even know they have it. Maybe if they know the signs they can see it early.

It’s a bollix alright trying to appear more confident every time you’re in an exposed situation, sometimes it backfires and you just look arrogant or obnoxious, when in reality you don’t know what to do. Appearing funny, tough or whatever is the easiest way of getting those small victories, but to get the big ones I’ve found all that you can do is get people to understand you, know what you mean and how you feel, rather than take you at face value as a fool or someone nobody wants to be around. I can only thank my family and those who’ve helped and apologise to people I’ve been negative to.

Anyway, I’ll end on a lighter note: Renua got no seats in the election!! :)

Graham

Related Link: https://rebelcitywriters.wordpress.com/2016/03/04/living-with-depression-a-personal-account-on-living-with-the-common-cold-of-mental-illnesses/
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