Mary Harney's Genital Warts Shame

national | gender and sexuality | opinion/analysis

Saturday November 08, 2008 11:15

by doing it with élan.

Let's be frank about it, Mary Harney's Genital Warts story is a shame crying out for a tongue wagging.

As the most cultured amongst us know this year's Nobel Prize for Medicine and Physiology was shared by scientists in that trade who have made inroads in the virus research lark. One laureate managed to link up the HPV group of viruses with cervical cancer & before you could say "love me warts and all" most European states decided to vaccinate young wans against only 3 of the near 100 strains of HPV or "genital warts" a virus which indeed doesn't always produce warts...........it being a sly killer and all.

Mary Warty Harney.

They let it be known that this would reduce cervical cancer in the sort of way which would appeal to young wans and young fellas starting out on a lifetime's shagging with or without condoms. This will stop cancer - they said. In Ireland the news was delightful to those females who realised that they need no longer lobby for a state wide cervical smear service and routine session with their legs in stirrups whilst a nice enough professional examines their private bits for hard to see lesions.

The boys got off scot free of course because nobody has yet to consider HPV transmission or infection amongst males as anything worth more than a vinegar bath.

But then came the vaccine with its advertised hpye of saving our young females from the assorted skin bound viruses carried by an estimated 80% of sexually active adults, though it would do no such thing, and parents, mammies and daddies up and down the land breathed a sigh of relief.

Harney might have fucked the pensioners, nurses, doctors and pretty much any group she has touched in the 23 years since she helped break the mould on Irish politics but now she was going to save the young wans from having their wombs cut out.

& she reckoned it would save money too.

If any of you are in doubt as to the efficacy of the HPV so called "Cervical cancer" vaccine then talk to the good folk in the medical industry who are now demanding that that vaccine which is available throughout Europe be offered to Irish girls. But make no mistake in thinking that vaccine will cure HPV or even block all its strains. Coz the nifty little injection only deals with 3 strains of the virus which thrives on both private parts of boy and girl alike as well as in their mouths. If of course they do the mouth thing.

But the public loves vaccines.

Of course there really ought be some who come forward now and congratulate Mary Harney on her Genital Warts shame and wrap their arms around her girth and ambition and acknowledge that she has brought our young wans back to chastity and abstinence. Because that is the proper thinking ahead capitalist way.

If you want to grow old you'd better have a pension.

If you want to have sex you'd better afford a gynacologist with an eye for detail or else get used to washing yourself in vinegar so you know when it's time to cut your womb out. Naturally if you're a man it will be your woman's womb you'll be cutting out or if you're progressive like, your boyfriends rectum.

Still warts never spoilt the appeal of an arsehole.

Well Done Mary Harney!!! We really truly love and respect, cherish and admire your 23 years of commitment to breaking the mould